Hey, Alanis, I know I’m about 15 years too late on this and far from the first person to point this out, but that fly in my chardonnay wasn’t ironic, nor was that rain on my wedding day (though, given the subsequent divorce, it was a harbinger of sad times to come).

But, sitting on this unforgiving carpet covered bench-slash-ledge at the Jet Blue terminal at JFK, it’s hard to miss the irony that my lament for the lack of snow in Maine was finally heard today, heard so well that my flight from Portland to JFK was delayed by snow just long enough to cause me to miss my connection to Denver and plans for snowboarding at Keystone this evening. Yes, Alanis, in that rambling sentence, there is irony: my wish for snow has prevented me from enjoying it.

Now, you’ll have to excuse me, my ass is completely numb from sitting here in the free hotspot Jet Blue provided. If only it could be numb from sitting on a chairlift instead….

P.S. Please forgive me, Alanis, if your intention with Ironic was to write a song that seemed to be about irony but was actually about being unfortunate and therefore ironically named.

Ah, Colorado. This Friday I’m flying out to Denver and then driving to Breckenridge for my first turns of this season. The plan so far is to spend Saturday trying to keep up with some local tele skiers at Vail. Even though my board is tuned, it’s been over 6 months since I last stood on it, and I know the altitude is going to wreak havoc on my sea level lungs. So there’s a good chance my ass will be dragging along with my knuckles.

The impending trip is making me more than a little restless, so instead of sleeping, I decided to check out the webcams at Keystone. Turns out they’re open for night skiing the Friday I arrive. My question is this: Will a mellow session of night boarding be a great way to loosen up the legs and get my sea level lungs working or will that be more akin to a dog breaking its leash and running headlong into a car?

Just seeing the snow at Keystone and Breckenridge has me fired up. From what I can see on the mountain cams and snow reports, the conditions there look like mid-winter in Maine. That’s even harder to take after a week-long bout with warm air crushed any hopes of hitting Sunday River this past weekend. Even though Portland picked up a wet dusting on Monday, this is the best we’ve got right now. But, credit must be given. The hard-nosed Yankee work ethic (and some massive infrastructure) can go a long way when Mother Nature leaves all the snow in the west.